Attention, Maire, can you please get in touch with whoever did the Photoshop for this cover. I need abs like that stat!

After a harrowing year which included several major health scares, Bret Michaels is standing strong and naked on the cover of Billboard Magazine’s October issue.

Although Bret is pleased that healthier days are here again, the Poison frontman is still a bit disappointed that he narrowly missed an opportunity to join the judge’s panel of American Idol.

Last week, Idol producers ended months of speculation when they announced that Jennifer Lopez and Aerosmith singer Steven Tyler had been hired to replace exiting panelists Simon Cowell, Ellen DeGeneres, and Kara DioGuardi.

Well, there’s always The X Factor.

“Not only was I in meetings with (American Idol production company) Fremantle, I made it to what they called the ‘Top Four’… But if there’s someone else that would give great career advice and bea lot of fun on TV, it’s Steven Tyler…We also talked a little about Simon Cowell’s new show, X Factor, and they asked me about being the host of a dating show they’re doing…”

Bret last appeared on the tube as the champion of Donald Trump’s The Celebrity Apprentice. The rocker returns to TV in the new VH1 docu-soap Life As I Know It, premiering Monday, October 18th at 10pm.

“It’s an all-access backstage pass into my everyday life, about finding balance between my passion for my family, my relationship with [girlfriend] Kristi [Gibson] and being on the road.”

So…just cause there’s really nothing else to say about this, I decided to post a clip from the Bret Michaels/Pam Anderson porn that leaked years ago:

Not as large as Tommy, but Bret doesn’t have to be ashamed…