Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino may dazzle the ladies (and this particular flamboyant gentleman) with his amazing abs, but another area of his anatomy is much less impressive! In the Oct. 11 issue of Star, on sale now, one of his conquests dishes about her not-so-hot night with Dancing with the Stars and Jersey Shore star — complete with details about his, um, tiny manbits.

“I wouldn’t even call it a one-night stand, because he only lasted a few minutes,” Florida club promoter Melody Eckerson tells Star about their tryst in the Jersey Shore cast’s Miami Beach party pad. Things started out normal enough and Melody admits she was even imagining what it would be like to be his girlfriend. But she got a huge surprise when the reality TV star dropped his pants and revealed — a very tiny Situation!

“Let’s just say, I’m thinking of my pinky,” Melody tells Star.

Needless to say, if anyone needs me, I will be quietly cutting my wrists to ribbons in the bathroom…