Casey
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Casey Anthony Found Not Guilty; Opens Business

Posted July 8, 2011 by Buck Douglas

Is there an unwanted child in your life?  Consider giving recently acquitted Casey Anthony a call. Following the Not Guilty verdict pronounced in the trial of Casey Anthony, there has been much speculation about what comes next for the 25-year-old ex-mother from Florida.  Citing her lack of higher education, questionable choice in men, indeterminate ability [...]

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Abercrombie & Fitch: Push-up Bikini Top for 7 Year Olds – “Sexy At 7″

Posted March 27, 2011 by Robbie Danger

Abercrombie & Fitch, known for pushing the envelope of how we define [sexy] people you’ll never meet, released a line of Push-up Bikini tops, in their Abercrombie Kids store, for girls as young as 7.  While the company has no comment from the expressed public disgust, feeling pressured, they changed the description on their website [...]

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Exxon, Like Your Ex, is Too Stubborn to Take a Hint.

Posted March 11, 2011 by Robbie Danger

Remember that boyfriend you tried to dump back in college? The one you kept trying to let down easy, but wouldn’t take a hint…  was his name Exxon? The oil giant, despite the daunting reality of limited oil supplies, has pledged to spend $110 million per day, to find new oil supplies and natural gas [...]

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Supreme Court, “Westboro Church Still Assholes.”

Posted March 4, 2011 by Robbie Danger

Several days ago, the Supreme Court had a case before them involving the Westboro Baptist Church, where they had an opportunity to measure the constitutionality of protesting funerals.  This church, known for specifically targeting military funerals, claims that because the U.S. allows homosexuality, any soldier who dies for this country is better off dead.  Good [...]

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Madoff, “Of Course the Banks Knew”

Posted February 16, 2011 by Robbie Danger

In an MTOJ jailhouse interview exclusive, Bernie “The Forearm” Madoff explained how banks and hedge funds were complicit in his scheme, knowing exactly what he was doing.  ”They sure as hell knew.  We used to wine and dine them, then bump uglies atop piles of invested retirees money.  I’d be all like, ‘this is Mable’s [...]

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Mark Zuckerberg Thrilled to Have Stalker

Posted February 9, 2011 by Robbie Danger

On February 1, Zuckerberg, or “The Zuck” (as I call him) was granted a temporary restraining order against a man named Pradeep Manukonda (pronounced man-aconda) according to court documents. Zuck began receiving notes from Manaconda during Christmas of 2010.  ”They were lovely at first; I thought I had a really cool stalker, oh and totally [...]

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#SuperBowl XLV: The Good, The Bad and The Rapey

Posted February 7, 2011 by Robbie Danger

This was the third or fourth consecutive SuperBowl that I didn’t care about.  The Packers, who without Brett Favre’s penis texts just aren’t the same, against the Steelers, which default as “my” team, if the Falcons lose… so basically every year. Ben Roethelisburger (not even going to feign an attempt to spell that right), couldn’t [...]

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Sarah Palin “Trades” Blows with George Foreman

Posted February 5, 2011 by Robbie Danger

If you haven’t heard the latest, Sarah Palin continues to solidify her failure in the next Presidential primary.  It was discovered that her lawyer filed trademark applications for “Sarah Palin” and “Bristol Palin.”  Interestingly, Bristol’s application was filed just days after her first appearance on ‘Dancing with the Stars.” Palin attempted to make such a [...]

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